Drinking: Hetalia Style
by Roses-of-Envy
Summary: In which America and Russia begin to discuss drinks! One-Shot No ships (Obvious) Characters: America, England, Japan, Russia, Prussia, Germany


/**Authors Note/  
So me and my sister came up with this idea when we went to this restaurant with my parents and Grandma. They were discussing drinks, and about how strong and weak each others was, and I heard the word vodka and got happy (but I can't drink yet... so if I describe these drinks terribly, that's because I've never had any! I'm going by what I've read) So then I immediately thought of Russia and America arguing over Which would be better, Vodka or Whiskey. So I told my sister and she then suggested a few ideas for me, so Here it is! There aren't any (obvious) ships, but this was really fun to type/write and I hope you guys like it (most likely oneshot)**

Human Names:

America (Alfred)  
Russia( Ivan)  
France (Francois-this is the French spelling of the name-!)  
Japan (Kiku)  
England (Arthur)  
Prussia (Gilbert)  
Germany (Ludwig)  
Hungary (Elizabeta) 

**Alfred is TECHNICALLY (human ID proof: I Googled it) 19 years old. Just saying.**

So tell me what you think!

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It was after a world meeting, somehow Alfred began talking to Ivan about drinking. Don't ask how they got to that topic, it just somehow happened.

"I don't understand how you can drink that weak stuff, it's disgusting," Ivan says in disdain, handing the whiskey bottle back to the American, who quickly tipped it back to get another mouthful.

"Hey don't knock whiskey dude, it's a good drink, better than the damn stuff you're drinkin'," The American slurred, having drunken most of the bottle. His Texan accent was beginning to show as he drank more. Ivan sighs in annoyance, the Americans got drunk so easily.

"But Whiskey doesn't keep you warm when General Winter comes knocking," Ivan retorts, brandishing his vodka bottle and taking a swig out of it.

"oh Hon Hon Hon Mon Cherie, Whiskey might not keep you warm, but Wine can," Francois replies 'seductively', wrapping an arm around the tipsy Alfred's waist. The American doesn't notice the hand creeping towards his ass but a certain Brit does.

"Oi Frog! Lay Off!" He yells, stalking up behind the perverted Frenchman and slapping his arm away. Of course, that only caused Francois to chase after the angered Brit. But before he could get very far, he got hit down.

" And by the way, Ale is better than Whiskey and Wine you twats, your damn American and French drinks are positively horrid," he inputs, shoving the Frenchman away.

Another nation hears this and quickly runs forward, almost bowling over Arthur.

"Kesese! You're all wrong! Beer is the best!" Gilbert yells, laughing loudly as Ivan and Arthur turn to glare at him.

"Bruder, don't go starting anything," Ludwig warns, coming up behind the rambunctious Prussian to grab his collar and pull him backwards.

"Kesese, don't deny it West! Beer is the best! Beer is the best!" Gilbert begins chanting, slinging an arm around Ludwig's shoulders. The other German simply sighs and continues waling with their group, no one else could reign him in, so he kind of had to.

They all began walking toward a nearby pub, still arguing about which drink is best. As they were walking along, Ludwig noticed a figure creeping along in the shadows. The German breaks away from the group and walks over.

"Kiku, just come join us, you were going to anyway," He sighs, the Japanese man slowly walks out of the shadows and silently joins their little group.

"Oh, joining us Kiku?" Arthur asks, seeing the short man walking in sync beside Ludwig. Kiku silently nods in response, observing ow the semi-drunk Alfred was arguing with a slightly annoyed Ivan, it was getting interesting actually.

"Well then let's PROVE who CAN DRINK MORE!" The American shouts, voice fluctuating slightly. He quickly turns toward the pub doors, pushing them open and stalking inside.

"That dumbass," Arthur mutters, watching as Ivan grins slyly and follows the American inside. Arthur mutters a few more choice word and follows the two, Gilbert and France following. Ludwig and Kiku hang back for a few seconds, before Ludwig sighs and follows. Kiku looks worriedly after them, he would rather ditch and observe from the windows, but that could end up badly. If Al and Arthur got tipsy, who would take them home?

After a few more minutes of contemplation Kiku follows them inside.

The pub was low lit, and wasn't packed (it was a Thursday after all) but there were a fair amount of people. Many of them were seated throughout the room, with mugs or glasses full of whatever they had ordered. Kiku wrinkled his nose at the smell of so many alcohols combined, but none the less followed the others to the bar, where Alfred and Ivan were already ordering shots.

"seven straight Vodka shots, Da," Ivan says to the Bartender, who simply nods and mixes them up.

"Why seven?" Alfred asks, then looks over. Ivan looks at the nations standing behind AL.

"Because we are all going to drink," He says, dark smile alighting his face. Gilbert, being the crazy non-nation he is, immediately sits down at a bar stool and waits for the shots to be spread out. Ludwig complies as well, not much of a point resisting. France chuckles and sits down, pulling Arthur down with him. Kiku stands back, his demeanor obvious that he wasn't planning on drinking.

"Come on Kiku, we're ALL drinking," Alfred half whines-half orders. Kiku, with much reluctance, sits down on the stool, perching on the very edge. His feet barely touched the ground, even when sitting so dangerously.

The bartender looks them all over, barely looking at Ivan, but his gaze fell on Gilbert, Kiku, and Alfred.

"You're all old enough to drink correct?" He asks boredly. Alfred grins his 'hero' smile.

"Yup!" But then sits back slightly, not bothering to prove it with his ID.

"Same here," Gilbert says with a grin. Kiku just nods. The bartender shrugs and slides the shots to them.

"Alright, drink!" Ivan says, tossing back the shot. Alfred was close behind, as was Gilbert. However, the others drank it with much reluctance, especially Kiku. Arthur winces as the Vodka slides down his throat, but the others show no expression.

France decides that that is the only shot he will be having and gets up, walking away from them to join a random group of people in the corner.

"Alright, that's enough of that, bottle of Spiced Ale if you would," Arthur says, earning a cold bottle sliding his way.

"Two beers," Gilbert says, earning a glare from Ludwig.

"Ya' got any whiskeh?" Alfred asks, Texan accent full on now, and beginning to mix with British. The bartender grunts in irritation and slides him one. He slides Ivan a vodka, then looks at Kiku.

"Anythin' for you?" He asks lowly. Kiku just shakes his head, but that wouldn't do for the others.

"AW~ Kiku ya' gotta' drink somethin'! Yer' too stiff ta' start with," Alfred says, putting on a (terrible) pout face.

"No, I'm not gonna drink," he says quietly. The bartender shrugs and walks away, going to serve other customers that were waiting down the bar.

"But ya gotta drink something Kiku, we're at a bar for fucks sake," Gilbert says, leaning in close.

"You're drinks are far to uncivilized and I would rather not," He replies, glaring ever so slightly.

"The FUCK EVER!" Arthur yells, he had already drank the majority of the bottle of Ale. "Ale, my good gentleman, is the SHIT!"

Japan glares as Arthur puts a hand on his shoulder and shoves the ale into his face. Somehow, the final drops of ale fell into Kiku's protesting mouth.

"Dammit," He coughs as he swallows it.

"Ha Ha! Victory!" Alfred crows, then slides the whiskey bottle down to him.

"You know," Ivan muses, looking at the Japanese man,"I bet the reason you aren't drinking is because you can't hold your liquor, I bet you're worse than him," He says, jabbing a thumb at Arthur.

"Shut up I can hold my liquor better than y'all any day!" Arthur slurs in indignation.

"No, it's not that," Kiku replies, sliding the whiskey back to Alfred.

"Kesese, prove it then," Gilbert says, then forces Kiku into a headlock.

"Don't you da-" He got cut off ad the beer was shoved at him, and he was forced to choke it down.

" You *cough* shouldn't *cough* do *cough* that *cough*," Kiku says, wiping a his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Well we wouldn't be doing this if you would drink, Da," Iva retorts, standing up and walking toward him.

"Oh no, not your putrid drink," The Japanese man said.

_So I guess alcohol loosens his tongue, _Ludwig thinks as Kiku glares at Ivan openly. He usually keeps emotions hidden away, and refrains from speaking. But now he was speaking his mind and was clearly quite pissed off.

Ivan stopped but still handed the bottle to Kiku.

"Drink Da, or I'll force you to," He said with a quirked eyebrow.

The Japanese man glares even more fiercely but takes a quick drink out of the bottle then shoves it back at the Russian.

"There are you happy?" He says, scowling. But his cheeks were slightly flushed as the alcohol began loosening him up. Ludwig shakes his head in exasperation and silently continues drinking.

"kesese, come on Kiku, loosen up a bit more," Gilbert says as he finishes his first bottle of Beer and begins on a second one.

"Fuck that," Kiku growls, then sets his head down on the bar.

" Jesus, wonder how much liquor you have ta' drink till yur' drunk," Alfred slurs, slinging an arm around Kiku's waist, despite the fact that he's laying on the bar.

"If I get fucking drunk, who's gonna drag your asses home," Kiku retorts with a smirk, brushing Alfred away.

"Simple! West'll do it!" Gilbert says with a grin.

"Bruder, really? Don't start this sort of stuff," Ludwig says quickly, slamming his bottle onto the bar.

"Kesese, really West, fine," He says, then ends up trailing off.

"Well, guess we need to get ready to leave da? Those two seem to be about ready to kill each other," Ivan comments, pointing at Alfred and Arthur, who were locked locked foreheads and growling things angrily at each other.

Kiku growls some choice words under his breath then stalks forward, grabbing the collar of Alfred's shrt, then the collar of Arthur's. With a quick movement, he yanks the two of them apart, then slams them against the floor, successively stunning them. Iva "kol's" softly, smiling at the method Kiku used.

"I'mtaking these two home, stay if you want," He says sharply to the others, then begins to drag them out the door, earning a few glances from the various bar-goers. Kiku didn''t care though.

/  
**Later...**

Arthurwakes up with a loud groan to find himself tied up with ropes...to Alfred.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?!" He yelps, beginning to struggle, and awaken the American.

"FUCK! DIDN'T DO IT IGGY!" He yells, then quiets. "What? Why're we tied up?"

Kiku chuckles and walks over to them.

"Over your hangovers? Good," He says, strange smile on his face, he holds up a shiny black camera.

"You guys get drunk so easily, it's really a bad trait to have," he says in that strange tone.

"What's wrong? just let us go?" Alfred says, sort of nervously.

In response to this, Kiku grins and Clicks the camera, stunning the two of them with the flash.

"See ya' on the flip side!" He says, then starts running.

**Even Later...**

"See, this is why I took them home," Kiku says with a grin, brandishing the photos.

"Nice Kiku! This'll go nicely with my collection," Elizibeta squeals, snatching one of the copies.

"Hopefully they'll learn their lesson," Kiku smirks, then begins to walk away, swinging the camera around his wrist.

_There are many reasons not to mess with a persons Drinking choices._

**\Authors Note/  
Yup! So this is a definite OneShot, and a completely cracktistic plot!**

Hope you guys enjoyed it :)

*COUGH* I take requests *COUGH*


End file.
